The Aftermath
by Fishi
Summary: This isn't you're regular LOTR fanfic...there aren't any of the characters in there per se, but I did use the creatures, and the basic storyline. Nehoo, it's just a funny little short story I made for an English class. One shot. P.S. Lailoken is Legolas


A/N: This story was originally written for my A.P. English class, and my teacher got a kick out of it, so I decided to post it. And it was revised by her, so there will be no grammar problems!!! Hooray! :D This is loosely set in a LOTR type world, but the characters are all different, and I created some new ....creatures, for lack of a better word. Just so you know, they're all based and me and my friends...and we really do act a lot like this, just without the magic, that's what scares me the most. Well, here's my first full fic on ff.net! :)  
  
The Aftermath  
  
"Guys? I'm bored. Since that battle with What's-His-Face three months ago, we've had nothing to do."  
Branwyn stared at Ganieda with lidded eyes, annoyed with the wizardess. "First of all, it's been three weeks, not three months. Stop exaggerating! And second, that's got to be the thousandth time you've said that!"  
"Didn't you just tell me to stop exaggerating?" Ganieda smirked at the tall elf queen, who promptly started glaring at her with her piercing green eyes. "Ha, I know you ain't gonna hurt me. The only things you hurt are the Uruk-hai and orcs, and they're all dead!" Branwyn just glared again, then crossed her arms and looked away, not wanting to go on with the battle.  
But before Ganieda could gloat, a little voice piped up, "Why do I have to be a hobbit? Why aren't I an elf? I should have been born an elf!" The tiny hobbit was scowling, which did not quite fit on her adorable, girlish-looking face.  
Ethne, Bella's twin, smacked her palm to her forehead and slumped her shoulders, having heard of the elf one too many times. Alanna, the Gwenddydd of the group, rolled her eyes and pretended that she didn't know the little sprite. Branwyn just stared at her.  
Ganieda sighed and asked, "Bella, what's wrong with being a hobbit?"  
Bella, rolling her eyes with an expression that clearly said "Duh!" started, "For one, remember Lailoken? YOU try mixing a 6'3" elf with a 3'5" hobbit!"  
Now Ganieda was starting to get angry. But controlling it well, she just smirked at Bella, and said "So you don't want to be an elf, do you?" Bella shook her head no, still pouting. "Fine then, would you rather be something else?"  
"Anything but a hobbit!"  
"All right then, how about a dwarf?"  
  
"No no no no no no no!!!!!! Dwarf women have beards! At least I'm not fuzzy! If I were a dwarf, I'd be short AND fuzzy!" Ganieda nearly laughed aloud from Bella's horrified expression. But, that didn't last long.  
"Then shut your mouth and stop complaining, or I really will make you into a dwarf!" Ganieda shrieked, her face red with rage. Bella was quiet for a while after that.  
Alanna finally broke the long silence, "So what are we gonna do?"  
The silence hung in the air as everybody's thoughts turned inward, and no one spoke. Finally, out of boredom, Bella started reminiscing the Last Great Battle. "Branwyn, remember when that huge orc was at your back, the one that you didn't see? Well, he was a fun one. First I stabbed him in the leg, but of course that didn't help, they're immune to pain or something, so I slashed him like this and then I went BAM!" Bella was making wild actions, grotesquely exaggerating what she had actually done. "And then he tried to strike back, but I dodged in time," She seemed totally oblivious to Branwyn's cool stare. "but then I finally pierced his belly through, and he died like this!" And the tiny hobbit promptly fell on the floor in pretend convulsions.  
Branwyn just raised an eyebrow in confusion, but still managing to look superior, when the curly brown head popped back up off the floor. "Actually, I don't remember."  
Bella quickly retorted with, "Of course you don't remember, you didn't see the orc, remember?"  
"Then why did you ask me if I remembered?"  
Bella blinked for a moment, confounded, but finding Branwyn was right, went grumbling back to her seat.  
"Besides," Ethne reasoned, "She shouldn't remember it that way, because that's not the way it happened at all! The only thing I remember is an orc coming up on you, then you freaking out and using your drowning spell, then stabbing the corpse repeatedly. And that's just the first one!"  
Bella did not like hearing that at all. So she tried a clever comeback that would not have been so clever, but she was cut short by Ganieda.  
"Yeah, first she went like this, and then she twirled her staff, and started to chant, 'Gilthoniel a Elbereth, aiya elenion ancalima!'" When the wizardess felt the magical energy surge through her veins, she realized her mistake: she had actually cast the spell! Seeing the ball of light forming at the end of her staff, she knew she had to think quickly. Just before the orb flew from the staff, she pointed it upwards, causing it to fly through the roof, taking a chunk of it out in the process. Everyone just stared as the sphere of light traveled through the night sky, outshining all of the stars. "Oops." Was all Ganieda could say.  
"And you call yourself a hero." Branwyn smirked, when most had regained composure.  
"Actually, I don't call myself a hero, I call myself a heroine." Everyone smirked at that one, completely forgetting about the hole in the roof. Branwyn merely "hmphed" and turned away so quickly her flame-red hair swirled around her.  
"Hn, imbeciles, the only parts you got correct was the bungling. Let me tell you how it was done." With that, Alanna hopped over everyone, into the center. "I will tell you a tale so horrifying, you will smell the blood, see the death, all over again!" Everyone started getting edgy, for Alanna's eyes were glittering in a way they only should during battle. "I was fighting with mere orcs, slaying one after another with ease, when the Nazgul arrived! Finally, a challenge! I cleared the orcs from around me, and leapt into the air to meet them . . ." At this point, Alanna unfolded her colossal, silvery wings. She was so into the telling of her tale, she had forgotten she wasn't there! Swinging her sword around, she sprung into the air, flapping her great wings, and proceeded to thwack her head the remnants of the ceiling!  
She floated to the ground, her wings still open, 'til she came to a lying position, face down to hide her shame. Everyone else was rolling on the floor, laughing. Actually, it was more like cackling.  
"Nice one, Alanna! Very entertaining. But I thought you were gonna show us how it was done?" Even Ethne was getting in on the teasing. Then an idea struck her.  
"Hey everybody! I know what we should do! Let's go ice skating!"  
"Ethne, dear, have you forgotten the fact that it's the middle of summer?!?" Branwyn said as she raised an eyebrow.  
"Oh, yeah. Oops." Then after a moment's thought, "how about regular skating?"  
There was a collective sigh. "Hon, you don't skate period. Remember what happened last time? Either we pushed you, or the only direction you went in was down." This time Ganieda was the one to break the bad news.  
"Well, then teach me! It's not like I'm hard to hold up! I'm only 3'5"! How hard can it be?"  
Everyone looked around, shrugged, and decided to skate on the beautiful summer's day. And so were the greatest heroes of our time.  
  
Scary, isn't it? 


End file.
